Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Try Pregnancy

I really wanted to go into labor last night. The OB stripped my membranes yesterday and I had such confidence that it would induce me and I would be pushing out the little Asian wonder right about now...but I'm actually sitting at home, blogging, which is not half as exciting as birthing a child! Pregnancy teaches patience though, as well as many other things of value, and although I am more than ready for this 9 month crusade to be over; I cherish the fact that I have been able to go through it. What a miracle. If you ever need to be reminded of who you are, why you are here, or what you are supposed to be doing...try pregnancy.


I have never felt closer to heaven than when I pray for the little angel inside of me and struggle to comprehend the inconceivable LOVE that God has for my baby boy. It is an almost out-of-body experience to try and take-in that much love...because He has a much greater capacity for love than I do. I can't contain it when He tries to show me.

You think you love your spouse, and then you find out you're expecting and all of the sudden, you love them more! You're going to be parents together. You're going to do something really hard, but really rewarding...and you love each other for being willing to do that as a team. It is entirely amazing to realize that this is why we you're married in the first place. This is why you fell in love. This is why you work hard. This is why you study hard. This is what makes it worth it. This is what we are all born to do.

Flutters and bubbles turn into kicks and punches and the reality of pregnancy and becoming parents is still hard to understand. I STILL can't picture a little miniature person coming out of me and he will be here any day! He has been my personal buddy for 9 months; within me, touching me, kicking me, relying on me, and I still feel like he is so far away sometimes because I can't SEE him. But I can feel him and I have fallen in love with him. My mind used to be constantly ridden with thoughts about my beloved Michael...and now it's just as full with Michael thoughts, but simultaneously brimming over with baby thoughts. Nothing gets replaced, just expanded. (My belly included).

New life makes everyone happily curious. Everyone wants to touch my belly and it's funny to see how it doesn't bother me because it doesn't feel like MY stomach anymore; it's my BABY. I guess that is pregnancy's way of teaching you how to sacrifice yourself for your little ones. You literally become unattached from your own body. You stop caring about what it looks like or how it feels and you become solely focused on making sure that your body is what your baby needs it to be. I love watching people's faces glow when they feel my little guy push against their hand, on my belly. It's just human-nature to feel happy about that. It makes everybody smile :).

No one is ever "ready" for parenthood. I hope this little dude can forgive us for all the mistakes we are about to make. But if pregnancy has taught me anything; it is that there is always a plan. Our father in heaven knows us and he has given us everything that we need to be successful and he never asks anything of us that we can't do. To see your body naturally grow and change and provide exactly what you and your baby need from week to week for 40 weeks is an in-you-face testimony of the divinity of humanity and the power of heaven. I'm sure it will be the same after he is born and I get to watch him grow and learn and realize how amazing he will be.

I just can't wait to be a real mom. I think it will be the happiest time of my life :).



4 comments:

  1. You're gonna be the best lil' momma and I can't to meet this little asian wonder!!

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  2. I love this! And I love you! Super excited for all of you, being a momma is the best thing ever :)

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  3. Really beautiful post! Can't wait to meet him!

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