Thursday, March 15, 2012

PinHead Problem

I just have to take a quick break (working from home on Thursdays is my FAVORITE) and blog about a little problem I just noticed.

To begin, we must go to the beginning.

My mother always tells me that mine was her most enjoyable birth experience because I was small. Small head, small shoulders, 18 inches long, 7 pounds and some ounces, easy delivery, quick recovery...I was little, but I was healthy (her chubbiest) and it was just the "greatest."

Well, I stayed small. I remember making the discovery when I was about 9 years old, that if I multiplied my grade level by ten, I would get my weight! 4th grade, 40 pounds, 5th grade, 50 pounds, 6th grade, 60 pounds... until I leveled off my sophomore year and never made it very far into the triple digits.

So, I have never weighed much, not for lack of trying...I just can't gain a pound, whether I need it or not! Kids teased me in Jr high school when I had mono, telling me I looked like a skeleton. Well, thanks a lot ya mean-heads! I can't even stay awake long enough to eat, and even if I could, it wouldn't matter, cause I can't gain weight! (If thoughts could kill, they would have been dead...or seriously injured.)

If you ever were lucky enough to meet my Grandma Worton, you would understand why I always stayed so little. I remember thinking she was the COOLEST ever when she water skiied (in a bikini) at Lake Powell with all of her posterity watching. She looked pretty rockin'. The only thing that ever held any substance on that woman (or this woman) was her little booty and hips. I remember the day my older brother tried to console a pubescent Aubree by telling me that boys like extra junk in the trunk! No part of me had ever grown at a noticeable rate before and my backside was seriously expanding into full-blown woman shape! Nothing else on me did that...it was pretty traumatic.

Moving on though, since I'm totally over it now... You get the gist that I have always been small, its in my genes! But, the smallest thing on me is my HEAD! I literally have a pin-head. Not a joke, not rhetorical, my head is smaller than my 10 year old sister's head...and she is also a tiny person! It's been OK over the years because my mom always cut my hair into these cute bobs and fluffed them up really big, so I'm pretty sure my head looked about the same size as my peers when I was younger. PLUS, my body was small, so it wasn't THAT disproportionate. I really only notice it in those pictures where you put your face right next to someone else's face and snap a really close-up shot. Then, you look at it, and everyone realizes that our eyes line up, but my chin ends where their upper lip begins! And while their head is the size of a regular balloon, mine is the size of water balloon.

My Pinhead really hasn't been a problem other than those pesky pictures, until now! FYI, I'm pregnant, and my body is not as small as it used to be! I hadn't noticed the issue until today because I have my hair cut in one of those cute bobs, just like when I was little and the fluffiness has been masking it! I'm working at home today though, so I put the hair in a pony tail, caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and GOOD GRACIOUS! My little head looks like the stem sticking out of a pear! There is so much ME in the middle and so little of me on the top! I look like an absolute bafoon! I contemplated posting a picture, but, I just can't do it. My baby bump is barely sticking out, but it is majorly changing the disproportionate relationship between my head and body. 20 more weeks to go!?! This could get seriously ugly.

On a happier note, 5 days 'til the "gender" ultrasound!!!